Friday, 22 July 2016

[WP] Barack Obama announces that he will be the last POTUS. He gives a speech explaining why and everyone realizes that he is right.

From the Reddit Post:
[WP] Barack Obama announces that he will be the last POTUS. He gives a speech explaining why and everyone realizes that he is right.

leeets not talk about the upvotes on this one. (sigh ok 1 upvote. unread. I suck. I gettit.)

Not the best thing I ever wrote, I will grant you.
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My fellow Americans.
When I began my time in office, I was hopeful. During my first presidential campaign I promised you change. As my first term drew to a close and my second began, people started to question, when will this change be coming?
At every step that I have tried to improve this great nation, the republican party have undermined me. Blocking bills that would transform welfare and healthcare, although we eventually got that one through, and introducing selfish bills that line the pockets of the rich. As I spent more time in office, I realised, this wasn't just a problem of the very rich, but also, of the very stupid. I have faith that the great people of America could, if they worked together, solve all of these problems. Instead you vote in rich white men who have no interest beyond their own self interest.
You see, I have hidden the truth from you for a long time America. I am smart. Much smarter than the average american. My IQ is somewhere in the high 160s, although I am intelligent enough to know this is just a number.
Over the last few years I have come to realise. Changing bills, vetoing the bad ones and having to fight for any change will lead us nowhere. And so, as my last act as president I will be making one, great change.
I will be destroying the United States of America. Along with China, India, and parts of Europe and Africa. I will be the last president, of these United States.
It is too late. The bombs are already set, in hidden locations throughout the world, and will go off shortly after the end of this speech. Even if you find one and disarm it, you'll save a few thousand people at most.
You may ask, "Barack, why are you doing this evil thing?"
I have witnessed how tragedy brings people together. I have seen how overpopulation and corruption are ruining this world, and I will not let it go on any more. Those who survive will have to work together to survive.
I have placed fallout shelters stocked with food and water hidden throughout our nation, whilst my contemporaries in Europe and Asia have done the same. To those of you who live, I wish you luck in finding these.
I promised you change America.
Finally, we will have world peace.

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